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Happiness (and Italy) looks different now
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I came back to Italy for the first time in four years. The last time I was here, I left a little heartbroken about it — romanticizing the cobblestone streets, the light in Florence, the feeling that maybe I was supposed to live here someday. Italy felt like the life I could have if I were brave enough to reach for it. This time, something was different. The streets are just as beautiful. The food is still extraordinary. But the ache I used to feel here — that longing for a different life — was quieter. Almost gone. I think I know why. I began the deepest inner work of my life just a few months after returning from my original Italy trip. Somatic healing, shadow work, building real community, learning to find calm inside myself instead of chasing it in new places or new experiences. Slowly, the happiness I used to project onto "someday in Italy" started showing up in my actual life — in Minneapolis, in the people around me, in the ordinary Tuesday mornings. Italy is still magical. I'll come back. But as I'm returning home tomorrow, this time knowing something I couldn't have known four years ago — that the life I built while I was busy dreaming about somewhere else is actually the one I want. That's what the inner work does. Not take away your dreams. Just make you present enough to see what's already in front of you. — Ryan |
Ryan Spence Coaching
Subscribe for wisdom and resources to support you in having the relationship you've been longing for. We especially focus on those that feel anxiety and fearful in relationships, especially around expressing desires and needs. Let's help you have the relationship and intimacy you deserve!
Three words I wouldn't have said a year ago. Someone close to me made a teasing comment the other day — nothing dramatic, just a small jab. And instead of doing what I would have done for most of my life — swallowing it, telling myself it didn't matter, convincing myself that saying something would just make things worse — I just said it. Ouch, that hurt. No explosion. No shutdown. Just a simple, grounded truth. What surprised me wasn't their reaction. It was mine. There was no shutdown, no...
As I sit here in Vicenza, Italy — a town I never intended to come to — I'm reminded of the magic that becomes possible when we truly believe we deserve what we're asking for. Part of my dream for this trip was to experience co-living — to spend time with my people and live like a local rather than a tourist. Several months back, I put the ask out in a Telegram group for a personal growth community I'm involved with. No one responded for months. Admittedly, I started to lose hope. It looked...
Last week I told you about the ten years it took me to first get to Italy — and the four years after that before I came back (the present day today) This time the delay was financial fear. I no longer have a corporate salary and PTO to lean on. I run my own business — which means if I'm not working, I'm not making money. And for the first few years, I'm making substantially less than I did before. So the story running on repeat in my head was: I'm being financially irresponsible to take a...