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Ouch, that hurt.
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Three words I wouldn't have said a year ago. Someone close to me made a teasing comment the other day — nothing dramatic, just a small jab. And instead of doing what I would have done for most of my life — swallowing it, telling myself it didn't matter, convincing myself that saying something would just make things worse — I just said it. Ouch, that hurt. No explosion. No shutdown. Just a simple, grounded truth. What surprised me wasn't their reaction. It was mine. There was no shutdown, no second-guessing whether I should have said something. Just a quiet, EMBODIED sense of — yeah, that was right to speak my hurt. That's what somatic work builds over time. The felt sense that you can trust yourself to protect your heart without fearing conflict. Advocating for yourself is radical self love that is necessary in healthy relating. If you're still in the mental spiral — still asking yourself should I say something, does it matter, what's the point — I want you to know that inner voice can quiet down. Not all at once. But it does. — Ryan |
Ryan Spence Coaching
Subscribe for wisdom and resources to support you in having the relationship you've been longing for. We especially focus on those that feel anxiety and fearful in relationships, especially around expressing desires and needs. Let's help you have the relationship and intimacy you deserve!
I came back to Italy for the first time in four years. The last time I was here, I left a little heartbroken about it — romanticizing the cobblestone streets, the light in Florence, the feeling that maybe I was supposed to live here someday. Italy felt like the life I could have if I were brave enough to reach for it. This time, something was different. The streets are just as beautiful. The food is still extraordinary. But the ache I used to feel here — that longing for a different life —...
As I sit here in Vicenza, Italy — a town I never intended to come to — I'm reminded of the magic that becomes possible when we truly believe we deserve what we're asking for. Part of my dream for this trip was to experience co-living — to spend time with my people and live like a local rather than a tourist. Several months back, I put the ask out in a Telegram group for a personal growth community I'm involved with. No one responded for months. Admittedly, I started to lose hope. It looked...
Last week I told you about the ten years it took me to first get to Italy — and the four years after that before I came back (the present day today) This time the delay was financial fear. I no longer have a corporate salary and PTO to lean on. I run my own business — which means if I'm not working, I'm not making money. And for the first few years, I'm making substantially less than I did before. So the story running on repeat in my head was: I'm being financially irresponsible to take a...